This brief focuses on how infants and toddlers develop relationships with their peers and siblings and how parents and other caring adults can support the development of these relationships at home, during group socializations, and in other group settings. Find the most up-to-date information to answer these prompts:
- What does research say?
- What does it look like?
- Try this!
Also check out the companion resource, Connecting at Home. It includes simple tips for families to support their children's engagement and learning.
Research Notes
Peer relationships don’t magically appear in toddlerhood. They start with a baby’s very first interactions with their parents. Babies develop their own sense of self through their first close relationships, which sets the foundation for building relationships with others. Relationships with other children and a sense of identity and belonging are both subdomains in the Social and Emotional Development domain of the Head Start Early Learning Outcomes Framework (ELOF).
The Take Home
- Consistent warm, kind, and caring interactions with parents and other adults provide the secure foundation needed for infants to develop healthy peer and sibling relationships.
- Babies learn how to treat others by watching adults, siblings, and other children.
- Labeling and talking about emotions support positive social interactions.
What does research say?
Safe and caring relationships set the stage for peer relationships. It is through a child’s first relationships with responsive, caring adults that infants and toddlers learn to trust and connect with others. These early relationships can be between infants, their parents, older siblings, or relatives. When a child feels safe and secure, and they have consistent and supportive routines, they develop the confidence to explore their environments, including interactions and relationships with peers. Having safe and secure relationships also supports early childhood mental health.
Intentional supports create opportunities for peer relationships. Learning to develop relationships with others happens over time through ongoing, supportive opportunities to interact with others. From an early age, babies begin expressing interest in their peers, even showing preferences for the company of some babies over others. Building on infants’ and toddlers’ natural interest in observing and interacting with adults and peers is a great way to support their relationships. For example, during group socializations or with families that have multiple children, create an activity for two or three children to interact together, like water and sensory play using large bins or blocks. This provides an opportunity for them to observe, parallel play, copy behaviors, and play together. Small group activities are particularly supportive for children who are dual language learners and children with disabilities; they provide opportunities for one-on-one interactions and relationship development.
Labeling and talking about emotions support relationship building. Babies and toddlers are paying close attention to the emotions of adults and other children and learning from them. Young children need support learning how to recognize and label their own emotions and feelings, and how to respond to the emotions of others. Labeling children’s emotions and talking about their body language can help children learn to recognize these emotions themselves. For example, “You are so happy and excited to see your auntie! I see your big smile and your wiggly, happy body!” It is also helpful to talk about our own emotions with young children. For example, “I’m feeling a little sad right now. I wanted to see your auntie tonight, but she isn’t feeling well. It’s hard to wait until next time!”
What does it look like?
Work with parents to look for opportunities to help their child develop relationships with other children.
- Infants and toddlers communicate with nonverbal signals like eye gaze, facial expressions, and body language. Support their social and emotional development by narrating what you observe happening between peers or siblings and asking questions. For example, “Your face looked sad when Sarah took that toy from you. Are you feeling sad?” or “You scooted closer to Oscar. I think you’re curious about what he’s playing with.” Model these questions and observations for families and encourage parents to observe and ask their own questions too.
- Our interactions matter! Infants are watching and learning from their parents and other caring adults. It’s important to manage our own emotions to be fully present in a kind and caring manner. Practice emotional regulation together with the families you work with. Ask how they like to calm down or center themselves and build on those skills.
- Babies and toddlers are most interested in peers near their same age. Encourage opportunities for them to be around peers during group experiences and to interact and learn from each other. Narrate what you see them doing the same and what they do differently. “You’re both playing with red playdough. Vez is squeezing the playdough with their hands, and Pete is putting his playdough in the container.”
- Sharing and turn taking are skills that take time to develop. Developmentally, it is appropriate for toddlers to not share their toys. They still need adult support and modeling to learn about sharing and turn taking.
- Use children’s names and incorporate their interests into play. This supports their identity development and increases feelings of pride in their sense of self.
Try This!
The parent is the child's most important teacher, and you are their "guide on the side." Use these tips with families to help them support how their child learns:
- Imitating and responding to infants’ facial expressions and vocalizations are great ways to support their social and emotional learning. They love to observe, watch, and imitate different actions!
- Siblings are great role models for infants learning new skills. Invite siblings to take turns during a game or demonstrate a new skill the infant is interested in.
- Plan activities toddlers can enjoy together, like playing drums, water play, or playing with playdough using fun tools. Ask parents what activities their child enjoys at home and incorporate those activities during group socializations.
- Practice labeling emotions you see during home visits. Support parents to ask questions and label emotions during play or while reading books together. Asking the child questions about what they’re seeing helps increase their understanding of their emotions and the emotions of others.
- Model prosocial skills like comforting, sharing, helping, and cooperating. Like infants, toddlers learn through observing and imitating adults. They need positive verbal and nonverbal support to learn these positive social skills. Use positive, specific praise when they display prosocial behavior. “Angel dropped her toy and couldn’t reach it. You picked it up and gave it to her. You’re a kind helper!”
Learn More
- Learning to Get Along: Young Children’s Social and Emotional Development
- Social and Emotional Tips for Families with:
Connecting at Home
A baby’s first relationships with their parents set the stage for peer relationship building. You and your family are the most important models for children as they grow and learn how to relate to others. Try out these activities to boost their skills for connecting with peers and siblings.
What do you see?
- Joint attention is when you and your baby share the same experience together. Notice what your baby is looking at and explore the object together, describing its color, texture, shape, and movement. Ask them questions about what you’re both seeing, like “Is that bumpy or smooth? Do you like the red block or green block?” Sharing these experiences together helps build a close relationship and language skills needed to relate to others.
Talk Me Through It
- When your child is experiencing an emotion, verbally name what you see happening. “Brother took your toy. Your eyes are squinted, and you have a frown. Are you sad or upset? You looked at me after he took your toy. I think you need my help to get your toy back.” Babies and toddlers are still figuring out how to handle their emotions and noticing the emotional states of others. It’s important to ask them questions about their feelings and the feelings of others. Talking about characters in a book can be a good place to start.
Side by Side
- Creating a simple activity for your toddler and an older sibling, cousin, or neighbor is a fun way for the toddler to learn through modeling and build healthy relationships. For example, fill a large bowl with water and add items like cups, sponges, or spoons for them to explore and play with together. Infants and toddlers learn new skills when watching other children, and older children can practice turn taking and sharing with their siblings.
Caring Kindness
Infants and toddlers learn to care for others by watching adult and peer interactions. Use toys like baby dolls or stuffed animals to model empathy, kindness, and caring for your toddler. Pretend their baby doll is crying and show your child how to care for it — picking up the doll and rocking it, patting its back, wrapping it in a blanket, and speaking in a calm, soothing voice. Then hand them the baby doll and have them try some soothing practices. These empathy skills will support your child in building relationships and friendships.
« Go to Connecting Research to Practice
Read more:
Resource Type: Publication
National Centers: Early Childhood Development, Teaching and Learning
Audience: Home Visitors
Last Updated: December 23, 2024